The Nearly Empty Nest

Our two boys have been off at their colleges for over a month now. At first the house was just so quiet. No running up and down the stair. No constant opening the pantry and refrigerator doors, calling out "There's nothing to eat." No TV blaring when we were trying to sleep. No coming in late after work or out with friends.

Last year, our older son Andrew was away at SIUE and Eric was attending SWIC, living at home. We would see Andrew occasionally between breaks; he was only a half hour away. Now with Eric at Carbondale, we see them infrequently. If one comes home for a weekend or part of a weekend, the other may not.

Even though I miss seeing them day to day, I am glad they are becoming more independent and pursuing their education. Some of the positives with fewer people in the house: our food seems to last longer. I don't worry about meal components disappearing before I can use them. I buy very little junk food (or what the boys would call "essentials"). And we can cook whatever WE want for dinner, not worrying the picky eater won't like it or the other is not "in the mood" for chicken or fish. We can eat when it's convenient for us, not trying to work around class and work schedules for 4 people.

Their rooms are clean now. After they moved into their residence halls (don't call them dorms!), I gave their bedrooms and bathroom a heavy cleaning. When they come home "to visit," their beds are made and floors freshly vacuumed. It's nice not to have to close their doors to avoid looking at the mess they liked to live in.

Another perk is laundry. I have less to wash, dry and fold. When they come home, if they bring laundry, they do it themselves (or at least most of it--it's tough not to mother them a little). I enjoy seeing them; it's special to share time with them and catch up on their daily lives. I am so glad they are growing up--but when they leave the house for good (which they will), it will be strange. But we'll then be able to downsize and live wherever we want--no need to worry about school districts and family-friendly neighborhoods.

Every once in awhile we still here the pitter patter of feet on the stairs or in the hallway, but they belong to our feline boys, not the human ones. At least we still have them around to feed and spoil.

Quote Response

"You write in order to change the world, knowing perfectly well that you probably can't, but also knowing that literature is indispensable to the world. . . . The world changes according to the way people see it, and if you alter, even a millimeter, the way people look at reality, then you can change it." -- James Baldwin (24)

This quote makes sense to me. When we write, we write for a reason. Maybe we "have" to (it's assigned or a grade or a task at work). Maybe we want to share our day with friends on Facebook or in an email or text. Maybe we are inspired to write a song or a poem. With most writing, someone will read it, think about it, be affected by it. Will that change the reader? Will it change the writer?

In some small way, it usually does. It could be a temporary change (wow, nice wording. Cool. Interesting.) It could influence someone to visit the place you wrote about or avoid a restaurant with bad service.

I like that I could affect someone, my writing could change someone, even for the brief moment he or she is reading my work. It matters. My time and energy were not wasted. I have thoughts, feelings, and experiences others care to read about.

My writing does not have to be "literature" meant to be read for the next 50-100 or more years by academics. It will not be made into a movie or book. Those are not my expectations. And that's okay. Considering the number of poorly written books and scripts, I would not want my blogging especially to be turned into something like that.

What have you read lately that has changed you in some way?